Knowing God - Father Forever
Rewinding into my childhood, my mom and dad divorced when I was very young and I grew up with my mom. My dad was around off and on until I was five, at which point there was basically no communication with him. I remember a few times between the age of six and seven receiving little-stuffed animals with a note (written 'by' the animal) telling a story of something that animal had done with my dad. It was nothing too personal, but the thought of it being from my dad was special.
As I got older, there were definitely times that I longed for that connection with my dad that I had lost. There were activities and events that my friends or cousins were doing with their dads and I really admired their relationships. Of course, there were men in my life that were there if I needed them, but it never felt the same. They were not MY dad. They had their own families, and at times I felt that I was just an extra task to them.
I was raised in a Christian home and my mom taught me that God was my ultimate Father and that He would ALWAYS be my Father. My mom trusted God with all she had and relied on Him to always be there for us. At a young age, I gave my life to God because of that example. I wanted more of what it meant to have God as my ultimate Father and to experience it for myself. I am so thankful that I grew up knowing that God was right there with me. In those times when I ran to God and cried in His presence, I knew for sure that He was holding me in His tender, loving arms.
It wasn't always easy, even after making the decision to trust God as my Father. I longed for that physical connection. But having God in the picture made growing up without a dad a lot more bearable. God has always been my steady rock and fortress. In times of trouble I could cry out to Him and in times of rejoicing, I could sing with Him. However, even in knowing that God always loved me, cared for me, and was there for me, I am realizing just how much more I need to grow in knowing God as a personal father and how to still have that child-like spirit with Him.
I am reminded that God wants to bless me even still and that I don't have to feel ashamed to ask for things (not only things that I need but also things I want). God is far above all that I could ask for. He will not always answer in the ways I want or when I want, but He is faithful and His Word says that I can come before Him with my requests (Phil. 4:6). I am an adopted child of the King of Kings. I don't need to beg for things, I can ask boldly.
During this DTS, I have gotten a new picture of how I want to live life with God. I want to live bolder as His daughter. I want to brag on my greatest Father. And I want to run in fields of flowers rejoicing with Him. I have grown so close to God, knowing Him as a Father throughout my life thus far, but I am open and cannot wait for new revelations of falling deeper in love with Him.